There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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