So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
