I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
