Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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