He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
