Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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