I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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