At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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