STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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