beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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