That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
