There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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