3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
