so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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