that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it hurts more in the daytime
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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