i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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