we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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