he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize