he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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