I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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