1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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