i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
