First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
