I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize