I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
