do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
