Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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