One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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