so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
