I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
