I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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