After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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