you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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