so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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