he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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