I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
