Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
