Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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