Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
