i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
