i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
