so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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