forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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