I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
