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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We left an ass print on the piano.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
