If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize