I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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