How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
