I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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