Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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