i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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