Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
