There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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