I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Quick, to the slutcave!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
