You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
