I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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