Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
