At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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