Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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