My friends, they love my intelligence
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
