All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
