The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
